Find Your Hidden Wizard Homemade Vegan Ranch Recipe

If you say you don’t like ranch chances are you’re lying your face off…

Oh boy! The famous ranch. The white California gold rush…

If you say you don’t like ranch chances are you’re lying your face off… or you’re probably someone who has strong opinions about pineapple on pizza, and for that, you’re a loser.

We can argue about that later though.


I like my ranch thick, dilly, potent, and on EVERYTHING! This recipe is the coup de grace. The punch to the face that makes your taste buds pass out in pleasure.

It will feel like magic when you’re done as if Hermione Granger cast the perfect spell and unlocked the keys to the hidden valley itself.


We will be using unsweetened soy milk because it’s easy to get, and it’s a nice thick replacement. You can also use oat milk, almond milk, or whatever plant-based milky milk you like.

We won’t be needing a scale because a lot of these ingredients are such small measurements.



Vegan Ranch

What You'll need

  • Food Processor or Immersion Blender


  • 2 cups Canola Oil
  • 1 ½ cups Unsweetened Soy Milk
  • 2 tbsp Lemon Juice
  • 2 tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 3 tbsp Dijon
  • 2 tea Dill
  • 2 tea Salt
  • 2 tea Granulated Garlic
  • 2 tea Pepper


  • Add all ingredients together and mix on high using the immersion blender or food processor. Watch as liquids turn into a beautiful creamy paradise of flavor.
  • Blend until thick. 
  • Put the sorting hat on, join your house. 
  • You’re a ranch wizard HARRY!

Love, crust, and pizza dust,

Alex Koons

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